MyWorkButterfly.com, has conducted a National Mom’s Survey and we thank those of you who have taken the time to complete it. The idea was/is to learn more about you, as moms and to design the most resourceful site to fit your needs. What we learned from a large majority of you is that GUILT is the number one obstacle preventing you from returning to work. In response, we asked Julie Potischman, Butterfly’s resident psychotherapist the following:
How can women overcome the guilt associated with leaving their children to go to work each day?
“The expression it takes a village, is so true when it comes to raising children. I can’t even begin to tell you how many moms I hear who say they don’t work because they don’t have help and although the in-laws, for example, have offered, they say they won’t leave their kids with their mother-in-laws, or sometimes even their husband and, that they don’t trust these people with their children. My advice to them is always the same. Your mother-in law raised the man that you loved enough to marry and have children with, so they obviously did something right. And although they, meaning your mother-in-law, your own mother, husband, and/or babysitter may not be YOU, or do things exactly like you, you need to trust other people, get over yourself and allow your children to bond and learn from someone other than you. Guilt is a real feeling, but not a helpful one when it comes to raising a child and/or taking care of your own needs. Whenever I’m feeling guilty about something, I remind myself to take a deep breath and trust whomever I chose to leave my kids with and that it is GOOD for me and my children to trust other people, learn from other people, see things differently and to know and trust that mommy is ALWAYS coming home.”
In this survey, FEAR came right after GUILT. The second most popular answer when asked, What is preventing you from returning to work? FEAR. So, again we asked Julie for some advice:
How can women find the courage to return-to-work after having stayed home to raise their children?
“Talk it out with whomever will listen, THEN, feel the fear and do it anyway. Think about the lessons we try to teach our children.Wouldn’t we want our children to try to be brave? If we ask that of our children than the least we can do is model it. Remind yourself how good it will feel to look at yourself in the mirror each night, knowing what you accomplished. And, remember that the things we are the most scared of are the things we are the most proud of once mastered.”
Heed Julie’s advice. I know I have. Julie reveals more answers to pressing questions that we, as mothers, wrestle with. Her inspiring words of wisdom will be showcased at MyWorkButterfly.com this October. Therapy never came so easy. And, if Julie isn’t enough… let Nick Lachey be! Bidding ends late, October 1st and has already exceeded $6,000 with proceeds going to VH1 Save The Music Foundation.
Happy Job Hunting. Happy Mom.
Mother, Wife and Worker
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